THE CHRISTIAN MAN AS A FATHER

   INTRODUCTION:

   A.  According to Webster's first definition "father" means one who has
       begotten a child; a male parent; but in another definition he defines 
       it as one who cares for as a father might.
   B.  In Vine's dict. "father" is said to come from a root word signifying a
       nourisher, protector, upholder
   C.  More involved in being father than just ability to produce offspring
   D.  Father has very grave responsibilities, takes a "real" man such as we
       discussed in first lesson to be a father in the true sense of the word

   DISCUSSION:

   I.  FATHERS OF ORPHANS

   A.  Some children with living fathers in practicality orphans
     1.  If a father only provides his children with physical necessities, he
         provides them with no more than institutionalized children
     2.  Some children literally deserted; others are in practicality deserted
         because of father's absence
     3.  Some are orphans because of a lack of involvement in ordinary ways, 
         they are present but are distant and withdrawn and leave the 
         impression that they don't want to be bothered
     4.  Fatherhood involves responsibility Eph 6:4; primary responsibility 
         for nurturing belongs to the father
     5.  Teaching, training children was expected:
         Abraham  Gen 18:19; Moses Deut 6:4-9; David Psa 78:5-7
   B.  It takes work to be a good father
     1.  One must begin early and be regular Prov 19:18
     2.  Don't wait till they are "old" enough Prov 22:6; develop your
         relationship while they are children
     3.  Learn how to communicate Prov 1:8,9; Don't talked "to" or "at" 
         instead of "with" your children
     4.  Learn to discipline your children with love and understanding
         Prov 29:15,17; 13:24

   II.  DISCIPLINE IS AN ACT OF LOVE

   A.  Correction is proof of love, not hate
     1.  How often we've heard "I love my child too much to spank them"
     2.  Truth, if don't spank them when they need it you do not love them
   B.  God disciplines children whom he loves Heb 12:5-11
   C.  Spare rod and spoil child, Bible doesn't say exactly, but sentiment is
       there. note these passages Prov 13:24; 22:15; 23:13,14; 29:15,17
   D.  Effective correction is not done by the rod alone
     1.  Children need proper instruction Prov 1:7; 2Tim 3:15
     2.  Teaching behavior involves more than just social graces Lk 2:52
     3.  Fathers derelict when they fail to instruct children in God's word
         Deut 6:6-9; Eph 6:1-3; Prov 1:8,9; 15:5
   E.  Establish some guidelines that will earn respect for you
     1.  Identify the rules well in advance
     2.  Be consistent (inconsistency is greatest problem)
     3.  Keep your word, if say "I'm going to spank" then spank
     4.  Control yourself (very difficult to do)
     5.  Remember the purpose of discipline.  Punishment is something one does
         FOR the child Heb 12:11.  You love your child too much to allow them 
         to behave badly

   III.  LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

   A.  Fathers must provide the proper environment
     1.  In what direction have you pitched your tent
         Gen 13:10-13; 19:14-25; 2Pet 2:7,8
     2.  Who do you allow to visit in your home? TV? Who are the individuals 
         that your children look up to and imitate
     3.  Instruction is important as seen but more is needed
   B.  The proper example is a very powerful teaching tool
     1.  Practice what you preach  Someone said: "Until a boy is fifteen he 
         does what his father says; after that he does what his father does."
     2.  Conflict between precept and example greatly confuses children
     3.  The most important example of all is faithfulness to the Lord; living 
         a dedicated life 1Tim 4:16

   IV.  DAUGHTERS NEED A FATHER TOO

   A.  Some psychologists have concluded from research that father-deprived 
       girls tend to show extremes of either promiscuity or withdrawal from
       males
   B.  Fathers not only for sons anymore than mothers only for daughters
   C.  Daughters need the love; good example; discipline of a father also
     1.  Next to physical necessities, there is no more fundamental human need
         than love, let all your children know you care about them.
     2.  Being available is important to all your children 

   CONCLUSION:

   A.  Fathers, how much do you love your children?  You say: "that's a silly
       question."  But, is it?
   B.  Do you take your role as nourisher, protector, upholder seriously; are 
       you shirking your responsibility to bring your children up in the 
       nurture and admonition of the Lord?

   Daniel Lee Henderson   Buckhorn, MS   2/11/98 5:27:09 PM
   From an outline by Jerry L. Henderson

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